going home

Date: Thursday, January 31, 2008
Time: 10:18:00 PM

i realised that these few days i have been rather emo. but u know, human's emotions are sometimes out of our control. the moment i think about it, i can't help but to sulk for the whole day. why has God decided to take away such a young life?
anyway, life goes on.

and before i knew it, it's ALREADY WEEK 4!!!
this is one horrifying truth. not because of the fact that time actually passes so fast, it's the very fact that i'm still not in the mood for more work.
i'm supposed to be on the trot but i always find myself doing nothing productive in the room. worse is when i get carried away by emotions and sulk for the rest of the night while i'm supposed to be mugging.
i think my life is lacking of something. maybe some sparks, on whatever it is.
i find myself doing things that i should be doing, and not the things that i want to do.
there is a difference.
i always want to do things that i like to do. but then life now has become so routine that i don't find it interesting any longer.
it's like... i can do things, and i can complete whatever that's requested. just that, i can't quite see the point in everything.
it's like, 'u ask me do then i do lor' kind of feeling. it's errrrr..... pathetic.

come on, i need to get a life, and get alive.

maybe i will sort things out soon. give me some time.

and lastly, PEOPLE PLEASE READ MY PREVIOUS POST, AND SUPPORT THE PETITION. (Only for Malaysian youths)

Date: Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Time: 4:22:00 PM

post taken from http://buscrashnomore.blogspot.com/

We, the concerned youths of Malaysia express appalled anger towards the incident that claimed the life of Lee Nian Ning and two others on the 25^th of January 2008. This is not the first time that such an incident has occurred. Despite numerous complaints and public uproar in the past, incidents like this continue to occur. It was reported that the driver’s company had 13 summonses on that bus itself. We find it unacceptable that such a company could have operated that vehicle on the road.

What are the explanations?

Hundreds of thousands of university students just like Nian Ning and us rely on such public transport to travel back home. A human life should not be taken lightly.

How could a vehicle with 13 summonses be free on the roads and not be held by the authorities?

We, the following, hereby demand that the relevant authorities set up a committee consisting of road safety experts and representatives from relevant public bodies to conduct a thorough study to find effective solutions to ensure that mistakes like this do not occur again in the future.

We will not quiet up until we see it in the media that satisfactory measures have been taken.

To sign the petition, please send your FULL NAME and IC NUMBER to buscrashnomore@gmail.com.

We thank you for your co-operation. Let us pray for those who have died to make way for change and keep our fingers crossed that someone, anyone will hear us and enforce that change.

Please put this in forums, bulletins, emails, blogs.....everywhere. We need all the support we can get. This is for you as well.

Date: Monday, January 28, 2008
Time: 6:30:00 PM

link - read this

THUMBS UP FOR YOU The Malaysian authorities man!
damn. i'm totally speechless.
is the driver just gonna get away from this? is he?
i'm pissed not by the fact that he was actually the driver of the bus. not because he did that on purpose whatsoever because he obviously did not. nobody wanted it to happen including the driver himself. but, it's the way he carried out his job. he actually put the lives of so many on gamble and this time, the few unfortunates lost it all.
i have no rights to judge people at all, but i seriously think he deserves more severe punishment. JUSTICE needs to be done.

still feeling rather blue now.
it's too cliche to say things like
oh, let's move on and carry on with life.

but, is it really that easy?

i don't know her personally, but i do know her. she was in HCIBS. and i was shocked to find out that we actually took a pic together 3 years back. it was after the inter-hostel game, all the players went back to the boarding school office and we took a picture together. if i'm not wrong, she was playing in captain's balloon. and see, she was just sitting RIGHT BESIDE ME.

The last night that she lived

The last night that she lived,
It was a common night,
Except the dying; this to us
Made nature different.

We noticed smallest things, --
Things overlooked before,
By this great light upon our minds
Italicized, as 't were.

That others could exist
While she must finish quite,
A jealousy for her arose
So nearly infinite.

We waited while she passed;
It was a narrow time,
Too jostled were our souls to speak,
At length the notice came.

She mentioned, and forgot;
Then lightly as a reed
Bent to the water, shivered scarce,
Consented, and was dead.

And we, we placed the hair,
And drew the head erect;
And then an awful leisure was,
Our faith to regulate.

Date: Sunday, January 27, 2008
Time: 5:25:00 PM

i just got to know about the incident of a girl being killed in an accident. when my friend told me about it yesterday, i didn't really pay much attention to it, till i realised it today that she was in HCIBS and SAJC for the first three months during my j1, and i have definitely met her before.
i was stunned when i came across this facebook group created in memory of her.

21 years old. such bright future ahead. killed just because of a careless bus driver.
and it was KONSORTIUM BUS, the red bus.
read this, if you haven't known about it.

life is short and unpredictable, even more so than what we can expect.

though i do not know the girl personally, i still hope she will rest in peace.

Date: Saturday, January 26, 2008
Time: 3:03:00 PM

updates!!

finally it's saturday! saturday! yeapie! =)

lotsa work is piling up. i have got one lab report, two tutorials and many korean work to rush out. anyway, i'm still glad that the weekend has come. we have got boys' hostel gathering today. and due to some unforseen circumstances, i may not be going. have been sneezing since the time i woke up. arghh. i hate SINUS.

had a great dinner with my bro Eric yesterday. we went cant5, ordered some dishes and had our sumptuous meal. we went walking around the campus and chatted at adm. it was great hearing his stories and his *ahem*. shan't say much here. we actually had so much to talk about that by the time i went back to my room, it was ardy 11 plus. lol.
it was more than just chatting. i got to learn lots, like how i should see things etc.
i mean, sometimes i should reallie be more positive.
i have always been thinking like this.
if i can do well, means other people can do well also.
and if i don't do well, it's not necessary that other people will not do well.

but he corrected me that, i should change it to
if other people can do well, why not me?

they sound similar,
but somehow, it has some positivity in the latter one.

anyway, it was nice chatting like that.
somehow, i miss the cjc hostel time!
sob.

1 moreeee weeeekkkk to go. can you believe it?
CNY IS COMING!!!!
can't wait and i want angpows! but before that, i seriously need to be more motivated to finish up my work, and i can enjoy to my fullest during the four days. =D

aza aza!

Date: Thursday, January 24, 2008
Time: 2:44:00 PM

hurray! it's thursday!!!! which is = happy day!!! =)
seriously, it gives me satisfaction everytime i get to help those boys.
anyway, it's EEE night today, which i think is the anual event of school of EEE. like duh. gonna go for it before the boys' hostel session since my friend has extra tickets. heard we can get free t-shirt and some goodies, which is the sole purpose of me going. lol.

anyway, haven't been doing anything fruitful since monday. haven't been really revising my work and doing my tutorials. they are like piling up on my desk now. yawnz.
have just completed '1 litre of tears' yesterday. i know i'm kinda late but it's better than never right. and yes, i was tearing throughout the show. tears just welled up uncontrollably. it was just so heart-warming, touching and saddening at the same time. i never knew such a disease exist before watching the show.
it was a nice show, motivational as well.
simply love it to bits.
and for those who haven't caught the show, go watch it and you'll know why.

have you ever experienced this before?
something strange is happening to me recently.
i'm actually seeing this person EVERY SINGLE DAY in school these days. since the week before i guess.
it's like... the school is so big, and yet i can meet this person EVERYDAY. and the thing is, we are frm different courses!
when i go northspine, i see him in cantA.
when i go southspine, i see him walking along the corridor.
when i go for tutorial, i see him at the staircase.
and i go for HW lecture, i see him walking out of the LT when the lecture ends.
and when i went cant2 for lunch yesterday, which i was so sure that i wouldn't see him cos i ended unusually early yesterday, i saw him having lunch there too!!!!
it's like... i can see him everywhere, and wherever i go.
walao. this's freaking scary lah.
i'm trying to record down the number of days which i don't see him. and to my ultimate dismay, i find that the number is ZERO!!! omg.
SPEECHLESS.

yeapie!
two more weeks.
geez. =D

Date: Sunday, January 20, 2008
Time: 10:37:00 PM

好累，好久没试过这么累了。

我也不晓得为什么。就是太多事做了，快透不过气来了。

that day was talking to Emily. we were just saying that life now is like so busy during weekdays. we don't even have enough time for revision and homework etc. then suddenly what she said stroke me.

"是很充实啊，但这并不是我想要的。"

那，这又是我想要的吗？

after pondering over it, i realised that, the process may not be what i want. but the outcome is. because through all these activities, i get to learn.
that outweighs all isn't it.
especially on thurs nights.
i simply love thurs nights!
lol. though by the time i reach my room will be very late and by the time i start doing my work my eyelids will be closing, i still love thurs nights. hehe.

now, i'm waiting for the outcome of OVE interview.
i hope i will be able to get it.

now i know, what brings meaning to my life.
seriously, i have never been so passionate about things.
it's contentment, or maybe more than that.

ciao!

Date: Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Time: 10:08:00 PM

blogging!

life has been great.
i just realised that there's something seriously wrong with me. as in the heavy mood swings. i can be like super down and feeling blue throughout the day(thank God not to the point of depression), and i can be so excited about everything and think that life is just so wonderful the next day.
am i abnormal or what?
haha.
but i don't care lah. cos' even if i'm feeling blue, i don't lose hope on anything at all. cos' i know He's always watching and taking care of everything for me. love You so so much. =)

a lot of activities on-going.
it's like, life has got so much to offer, it's just that whether we want to grab the chance to experience them.
just went for AIESEC Global Internship information talk just now. was quite interested in the program till i found out that there are only 24 placements throughout Singapore. so i think it's pretty hard to get it. on top of that, for non final year students like us, we can only have it during out summer break. plus summer research and foc etc, i will hardly have anytime to rest. plus the very fact that i will wanna work as well to earn shopping money. hahas.

and i'm now pondering over whether i should join OVE this year. it's Overseas Vonlunteering Expedition to Laos. but i'm scared it will clash with my MSA FOC. aiks. tml is the recruitment drive ardy. arghhhh.

anyway,
i saw project superstar Nathaniel Tan(xiao-lu-dou) in my hall again just now. apparently he was playing badminton outside the tv room. saw him after i caught 'huang jin lu". have met him quite a few times at the bus-stop and during hall supper. i even listened to his i-tunes music that day! hahas. can't imagine that. i used to support him a lot during PS2. and now he's just right in front. lol.

gotta go chiong tutorial.
now i call 122 my yawning lesson. cos' it's really tooooooo booooorrriiiiiingggggggg. can't stand the pace. tml two hours somemore. argh.

gtg!

Date: Monday, January 14, 2008
Time: 8:37:00 PM

first week of school has been great. the workload is not that heavy yet. i mean YET. and i rather like my timetable for this sem. not too packed, and not too free as well. i've dropped marketing so i only have 19 AUs for this semester. i like that module a lot but i think this sem is not the time to take it. my top most interest for this sem is to pull up my GPA, so i will leave everything to the next semester. hopefully i will do fine.. i really need to catch up before it gets too late.
anyway, the only thing is that we have got two 'not-so-good' lecturer this sem. i won't use the word 'lousy' cos' if they are, they will not be standing on the platform lecturing us. i mean in terms of academic capability, they're excellent. but when it comes to getting the message across the lecture hall, they can't quite perform. heavy accent is one thing, and the pace is another thing. sometimes they spend the whole lecture just to go through 3 pages of the lecture notes. i think it's rather unbearable and boring. but what to do? we still have to listen. it's just something we students can't run away from.

had my first ever 'mastering communications' tutorial today. had fun discussion. the tutor started off by asking us to be in pairs, and we had to talk to each other, to know more about that person, and to unearth something interesting about him/her. after that, we had to introduce our partner to the whole class. and so after that 5 min of interaction, the tutor asked for volunteer to be the first person to talk. and surprising enough, i volunteered to be the 1st speaker. haha. i just don't like the situation in which all of us have to wait for somebody else to be the first. it's wasting time and it makes everybody feel awkward. lol.

anyway, i have got tutorials to complete, and tml will be my first korean lesson!! isn't that exciting?? but i still havent bought the textbook and the workbook yet. sigh. it's another sum of money to spend. to be honest, i'm actuallyin low cash these few days. aiks.

anyway, i have jus realised that school is fun without lab. lab sessions will commence again next week. time to get stressed again. yawnz.

looking forward to chinese new year, the time for reunion, for all the good food, and for all the fun and chatters. time passes faster please. =)

Date: Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Time: 8:10:00 PM

it's one tiring day for me.
had my first ever marketing lecture today. and the professor said something significantly funny at the end of the lecture which i think i need to blog about it here.

it goes like this,

there are 5 different kinds of organizations,

1. those that make things happen
2. those that think they make things happen
3 those that watch things happen
4. those that wonder what happened
and finally the saddest case
5 those that don't know something had happened.

what an intellectual joke. actually i was planning to drop it. but after attending lecture, i feel that i should not. but on the other hand, i'm worried that i will not be able to cope well. how how?

and the biochem lecture was....zzz
the lecturer actually turned off all the lights during the lecture. and he blamed some people for sleeping during the lecture. how ironical. luckily some girl heroically requested him to turn on the lights, or else i think i would fall asleep too.

well, still considering whether to drop marketing or not. hopefully someone can give me some insights/enlightenment on this issue. lol.

it was demoralising talking to people on the 1st day of school. i have jus realised that many people have done better than me in sem1. mine compared to theirs is just nothing. if i say that i don't feel anything at all, i'm bluffing you. i'm indeed disappointed. am i really that stupid?.
i have heard of people who got 4. something and are still not satisfied.
i have also heard of people who got 2. something and still think that it's nothing.
standing between the two extreme, how exactly should i feel?
i dun wanna blame myself cos i know i did try my best. but if this's the kind of results i got even if i have tried my best, what does it imply then? am i just no match to the rest?
God, can you show me an answer to this?
i know this is what You have in store for me, so i accept it for You have got Your plan for me and that You know what is best foe me.
but how come i find that what i'm heading towards are always despair and hopelessness?

Date: Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Time: 12:13:00 PM

school is starting tomorrow. tomorrow!!!
argh. good times always pass so fast. i feel that i haven't really got to enjoy to the fullest, and the new semester has started again. but one thing i have to admit is that, i have rested enough. as in for my brain. i didn't touch any academic related material over the past few weeks. syoks. =)
most people have already started school. but for my course, the first two days are tutorial days so we have got nothing on week1.
anyway,
it's a brand new semester!!! brand new courses as well.
there's 112 and 122 definitely.
phys and maths are still on. aikss.
and there's korean language and marketing!!!
i got what i wanted finally. but for marketing, i heard it's pretty challenging. hopefully i'll be able to cope well.

hmm. a new roomie has shifted in. well, a prc. what can i say? zzz. but she's ok so far. hopefully it will be till very far. haha.

i hate it. i hate it hate it. i wanted to tell you straight on your face that i'm not at all interested in you. so just stop pestering me cos i have got plenty of work to do and even if i wanna chat, that person will not be you. so just back off before i scream at you. yerrr!
but i know it's rude lah.
so blocking you is the only way. don't blame me.
ya. i'm a fierce girl. like damn fierce that kind.
lol.

my sis and I.
pre-Shanghai of her.
taken with my hp so the quality is a bit lousy. lol.

cya in 6 months. take care!

Date: Monday, January 7, 2008
Time: 2:31:00 AM

姐姐刚上机了。我跟爸有到机场去送行。
说不会舍不得，是骗人的。

踏出家门的那刻，我看见妈妈跟小妹哭了。

我并没有很放心，也没有很潇洒，只是，我不擅长掉眼泪。
六个月而已嘛，眨眼间就过去了不是吗？
希望姐姐在那儿一切安好，顺利。
我们一家等你回来过23岁生日噢！

原来有时候，感动不一定要说出口。